25 May 2013

you say you want a revolution


During the past-month’s time, in which I have not posted, life here has certainly taken off.

About a week after my last post, I had a moment of enlightenment. This moment came sometime after I became a local celebrity (I was featured on the local news, teaching and then explaining to the camera that I enjoy working here because the kids are great and everyone is kind and supportive). I was having a conversation with some of the teachers one evening after school and one of them turned to the other and said something along the lines of “Whoa! She’s speaking Spanish. She understands us and she knows what she’s talking about.” At the time I wanted to say “Duh! I’ve been here the entire time, able to comprehend and speak,” but I laughed it off. Later, however, I reflected on this statement and on the increasing number of conversations I had been having with everyone and realized that I was in fact improving. Even if my knowledge of Spanish grammar hasn’t changed, my comprehension of Chilean Spanish is getting remarkably better and I sound much more fluent and natural when I speak.  

Along with this increased sense of ability on the language front, I noticed that I have been learning much more about the people I work with and the community around me. It seems as though I am being treated more like a co-worker now, rather than a novelty item that the school possesses and can list on their repertoire.

And with this new role that I am growing into, I find myself supporting two popular sayings “Ignorance is bliss” and “With great power, comes great responsibility.”

When I began teaching at the liceo, everyone seemed to be a fairly cohesive unit, give or take a few stragglers who never left their classrooms to socialize with the other teachers during breaks (a cultural no-no if you want respect in the work-place). Now I can physically see a change in attitudes among my co-workers. A divide has been formed and it’s getting a bit uncomfortable. I do not understand the complexity of the situation and to be honest I’m not sure if I want to. This is one of those situations in which not knowing the faults of others leaves you free to respect everyone and there is no need to walk around with caution. The problem however, is that I am already much too invested in my students and the potential for change in this school system. When I discover new developments in this civil war, it becomes difficult to play Switzerland. I must remain neutral for everyone’s sake.

Remaining neutral reminds me that I am only here temporarily. That I must delicately introduce changes in my classroom and casually suggest ideas to others so as not to step on any toes. I have to find a balance between collaborating with teachers and supporting my students.  I know what is best for my students at this point. The discouraging thing is that I feel like the barriers to overcome in order to create a proper system and environment in my classroom are stronger than I am.  In other words, I either defy the system in the interest of my students, or I hinder their development in order to appease the superiors.


For now, I refuse to give in to one side. Significant change does not happen over night. I must be patient and observant. If I want to win this game, I must find a way to creatively maneuver around the rules, without cheating them.


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