During the past-month’s time, in which I have not posted, life here has certainly taken off.
About a week after my last post, I had a moment of
enlightenment. This moment came sometime after I became a local celebrity (I
was featured on the local news, teaching and then explaining to the camera that
I enjoy working here because the kids are great and everyone is kind and
supportive). I was having a conversation with some of the teachers one evening
after school and one of them turned to the other and said something along the
lines of “Whoa! She’s speaking Spanish. She understands us and she knows what
she’s talking about.” At the time I wanted to say “Duh! I’ve been here the
entire time, able to comprehend and speak,” but I laughed it off. Later,
however, I reflected on this statement and on the increasing number of
conversations I had been having with everyone and realized that I was in fact
improving. Even if my knowledge of Spanish grammar hasn’t changed, my
comprehension of Chilean Spanish is getting remarkably better and I sound much
more fluent and natural when I speak.
Along with this increased sense of ability on the language
front, I noticed that I have been learning much more about the people I work
with and the community around me. It seems as though I am being treated more
like a co-worker now, rather than a novelty item that the school possesses and
can list on their repertoire.
And with this new role that I am growing into, I find myself
supporting two popular sayings “Ignorance is bliss” and “With great power,
comes great responsibility.”
When I began teaching at the liceo, everyone seemed to be a
fairly cohesive unit, give or take a few stragglers who never left their
classrooms to socialize with the other teachers during breaks (a cultural no-no
if you want respect in the work-place). Now I can physically see a change in
attitudes among my co-workers. A divide has been formed and it’s getting a bit
uncomfortable. I do not understand the complexity of the situation and to be
honest I’m not sure if I want to. This is one of those situations in which not
knowing the faults of others leaves you free to respect everyone and there is
no need to walk around with caution. The problem however, is that I am already
much too invested in my students and the potential for change in this school
system. When I discover new developments in this civil war, it becomes
difficult to play Switzerland. I must remain neutral for everyone’s sake.
Remaining neutral reminds me that I am only here
temporarily. That I must delicately introduce changes in my classroom and
casually suggest ideas to others so as not to step on any toes. I have to find
a balance between collaborating with teachers and supporting my students. I know what is best for my students at this
point. The discouraging thing is that I feel like the barriers to overcome in
order to create a proper system and environment in my classroom are stronger
than I am. In other words, I either defy
the system in the interest of my students, or I hinder their development in
order to appease the superiors.
For now, I refuse to give in to one side. Significant change
does not happen over night. I must be patient and observant. If I want to win
this game, I must find a way to creatively maneuver around the rules, without
cheating them.
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